Namatsi - Hisia Ni Zangu

My husband is marrying a second wife! It is tearing my heart apart! Am I not enough? He said he loves how her waist moves to the drum beats of chakachaka Pretty mama of high seas He said she is very pricey Her laughter sweet and spicy So I trashed all of me and tried to do it like she did My husband is getting another woman He said there was something about her perfume so sweet The sway of her hips from side to side so nicely Her smile with the nice teeth Her voice sweet like ice cream Soft, silky, light brown skin There I was trashing all of me, skin lighting… hip enhancement… Breast implants… because I wanted him to see me Losing all of me, in trying to make him see me Me, living in a skeleton where none of it was me My husband is getting another lady Was I given his rib for procreating and not to earn his soul To warm his water, cook his food, and not touch his soul Suffocating because I love him more than I love me! When he loves her more than he loves me It

Tick tock tick tock I hear the maternal clock ticking I feel my ovaries jumping up and down in celebration I feel the tubes smoothness in preparations of the seed This seed saved up for just this day… this seed what they call blessing Oh this seed that will maybe carry my eyes, my smile, my legs or may be my beautiful small breasts This seed… I feel the maternal clock ticking tick tock tick tock Tick tock tick tock I hear the maternal clock ticking I feel it in my brain… it flashes like the sound of a nice song I see it in little baby Sean… when he smiles at me I see it in his big white and black eyes… and the beautiful chuckle he make when I play with his tummy I felt in beautiful baby Natalie, when her soft hands touched mine I felt it when I touched my best-friend's tummy…. It’s somewhere in that curve Yes my maternal clock is ticking tick tock tick tock Tick tock tick tock I hear the maternal clock ticking I see it in his face… every time he leans forward

My favourite love poem!!! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. © Namatsi Lukoye

There are two kinds of artists, both right in their choices; those who do it for the love of their work and those who do it make a living out of it. In all ways as long as the artist does not forget his passion, it is art. I mean even dentists and lawyers are artists in their professions. “All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve are a direct result of his own thoughts”. James Allen Many people complain that poets in Kenya are getting too commercial hence moving away from free soul in poetry. I do not blame poets for turning commercial or making money from their work… only unfair people would especially in these hard time. So what is one supposed to eat? his words? Poetry can be a career too. Where poets go wrong is that in the quest for money, we forget our passion. Poetry is an expression of feelings whether our own or of someone else; very few people nowadays are successful in making the audience believe them. This is to say, poetry like acting needs to conv

According to R.Pettinger, several things make a good poem; for instance it must be well written with a concise and accurate use of language. It is basically the use of words to express a feeling or an idea. Prose seeks to explain, poetry merely states. Good poetry is not an argument but convinces the reader through its own power. It should be able to lift the reader out of the ordinary and give glimpses of a more illumining reality. It should express a point and convince the reader to its message. Writers like R.Pettinger and W. Blake argue that a good poem should have powerful lines that play with the imagination of the reader. Great poems engage the heart of the reader, they stick in the mind and are songs to the lips, it should be more than mere intellectual cleverness. Even the great Nelson Mandela memorized the words of William Ernest Henley in one of the greatest poems of the world called 'Invictus.' "It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punis

Perhaps one of the hardest things in life is accepting change; while it is one of those things that we cannot do without. I always say, change is an animal so tough to tame. It could tear you from the ribs of feelings and moments that the hoped for future had planned for you, or introduce you to heavens joyous orgasms. The world is full of surprises, of tulip beauty’s and ogre ugly. Yet each time it gives us its hand, we have to accept the good and the bad. I believe that everyone is a living story, unread book, a poem or a song waiting to be told and heard; so among the many gifts given to me by the creator is the power of the ear. We have adopted a new adaptive mechanism to survive; individualism. It is so sad that we have allowed ourselves to be cocooned in our little shells and close the doors to those around us. They always say start with the bad and finish with the good, so I will. Just the other day I saw this young girl of around five, playing with running unprotected sew

Ladies and Gentlemen I hope this poem fulfils the purpose i wrote it for!!! (edited version) We look at our history to gauge our future If we erase our past stories, then we are as good as dead, we won’t make it to the next chapter The present is only a hidden time bomb like a steaming pressure pot Yet it is the cruel as the monster, consoling us that it is okay to take the path of great disaster Black man, life is never a fraction it is a whole The answer to Adams mystery is in the rib found in Eve The desecration of mama Africa in the past, robbed her naked of her wealth by greed and lust Her beliefs and way of thinking were considered as pagan values, that should be buried under the dust The African concept of the Great creator was never understood, never appreciated and never put first 'They' saw no similarity between the God they preached and the African One Supreme Being We were lost in sin, hopeless in darkness, no education, no chance of getting ahead

There were times I fought with self defeatism and it almost won over, till I remembered my Lecturer Mr. Majany asking in class, ‘What is the purpose of living if you have already been defeated by life?’ I loved Media Ethics, not because I was doing the course twice but because the class permitted thoughts and opinions to meet and question law. Every word this man said in our discussions stirred up my mind with ideas and questions. It is from these class discussions that I came up with ‘You are me’ You are me Teach me to change Teach me to yearn for change Teach me to love without limits To see good in people and to believe in people Teach me to believe in myself To never underestimate my impact, or my potential Teach me to be hungry for greatness Teach me to influence people positively Teach me to be of value To add value to the society Teach me to have personal initiative to do right Teach me to acquire knowledge in abundance So as to offer the proper guidance Teach

It really has been a while since I updated this blog, Thanks to a dear friend and mentor, Dr. Klaus Hornetz, I was working under a project that incorporated me doing a book; a collection of my poems so most of my energy was pulled there. The Kenyan publishing industry is not a very good friend to poetry as I experienced, among other problems. However I decided not to let this break my heart, if I did, then what kind of person would I be? Another big development is that I have been planning for a show........ yes... I want to do a show and perform my poems. I have been working on them and think that it is about time. I have proposed December the 10th but the decision lies with the venue holders (Safaricom). So friends, fans and artists........ be ready the poetess is about to land again! © Namatsi Lukoye

A dedication to all the Facebook poets For a while I couldn’t believe it They call me shallow because my pocket is surface It can’t go deeper… it doesn’t carry the notes or cheques required to make a book or album They call me weak because my poetry travels thorough a system that accommodates all forms of evils They call me not learned, because my poems are called notes and not poems They disregard my work and think that since I choose facebook, there is no way I can race with the eagles Sometimes they manage to drag my heart into a tearful and effusive stage of hopeless drunkenness But most times they make me stronger… give me that balance… as they act as that pivot I ache for I am a facebook poet They say I am not a writer because I do not read a book every day, week or month I blame them not; I am not a writer; I am an artist of words… I see the world like a painter does and speak about movements of earth in detail like a poet My words lay not in pages but they sprea

Pillar since birth He knew me best even before I could know me He taught me to spell my name JACQUELINE... He made me appreciate Namatsi He taught me to write numbers one to three He sacrificed, he took loans, he cancelled important meetings to give me the best When he smiles at me… I know he says, I love you When he pats my back… I know he says, well done And it’s all good, no it is great I wish I could say thank you in a way that could express its weight Heart of steal I learn from watching him, I became from listening to him He has been captain… showed us the way even in the stormy skies He hurts deep but I have never seen him weep They say I have his nose… it’s his legs am sure I have… Strong enough to enable me to cover miles in valleys dark and deep to green pastures He never says it but I was taught that when he smiles at me… I know he says I love you And when he pats my back… I know he says, I am proud of you As thoughts flood as to what my lif

Coming Together to Dare you to save a life!!! THE NEWSPAPER INITIATIVE by VISION SISTERS in corporation with: *Hisia Zangu Poetry *Flowetree *Nairobi's Finest *Slam Africa *Fern Poetry *QalizaSanaa *Circles with Immah *Wamathai.com *Poetry with Adelle *Verbal Peneration Here's what some of us have been asking; "Is Turkana part of a country where the leaders refuse to pay taxes?" Joshua, 22 "How can I help?" Bella, 11 "I hate seeing children dying because of hunger, let us collect newspapers raise funds and help." Margaret, 26 Indeed let us come together to help our brothers and sisters. Highlighting a project started by two friends who are collecting old newspapers to help their country. I urge you to join our cause and help to collect old newspapers which will be sold and the proceeds go towards The Kenya Red Cross for the Kenyans for Kenya Initiative. We invite you to donate old newspapers from your organization or individu

Oh na na what’s my name? Oh na na what’s my name Oh na na let me scream your name And baby, do the same but have no shame Let me flow placidly down on you as we play this game Hold me tighter, I am yours so, let us yearn for fame Let us get lost in the flame we blaze Oh na na what’s my name Oh na na what’s my name Oh na na let me scream your name And baby do the same… ignore all vexations let them call us lame We are not striving for heroism, let’s hide behind the crane So let yours, fingers draw the outline of my shape Lose me in yours, strength as you skillfully craft me Swing me around in all ways and let’s land on ours, words Tired of slow, lets ride faster Now you know am your junkie because I am addicted So hold me in that thrall… let me flourish… live and die there Tired of this… pirate, let’s maneuver into new waters Am tired of circles with their sham, but wholesomely introduce me to new Take me there, on the pyramid where I can connect with the stars You

I finally get it As soon as I opened the door The screams I heard Everyone running to me, glad to see me! Namatsi is home!I got it! Pap! I finally understood this beautiful feeling That once I may have taken for granted This feeling my heart warmed up to, how blind could I have been I felt important for once in this world of rush I could not believe it, it is like I had some powers They ran to me with hugs and kisses Picked up my bags and calmed my bruises Now I understood why they say east to west home is best I never told them of the world I never mentioned that the world had crushed me I never told them of the mistreatment They never cared about how much I made I never told them that, really... Out there I was a speck of dust That was stepped on by every shoe from God knows where I never told them that I was a misfit to the world, a nobody But somehow in here... I was noticed This must be love in its purest element Now I am glad that to have this small world

There is a woman down this hill Evil and beastly Atapaa popote kukuweka majani Uchawi ameulewa ni wake usanii There is a woman down this hill Everyone fears Mapenzi alikwara yuko peke yake Usifikiri rafiki… wivu ndio wake There is a woman down this hill Hana panga, macho ndio silaha Watoto awatupa kaburini, wazazi hofu awajaza There is a woman down this hill Hamwogopi Allah! Bibilia haimtishi, aibeba mwenyewe! There is a woman down this hill Karibu na makaburini Atakutoa nduki, urafiki hatamani © Namatsi Lukoye

Love is not a place To come and go as we please It's a house we enter in Then commit to never leave So lock the door behind you Throw away the key We'll work it out together Let it bring us to our knees Love is a shelter in a raging storm Love is peace in the middle of a war And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for To some, love is a word That they can fall into But when they're falling out Keeping that word is hard to do Love will come to save us If we'll only call He will ask nothing from us But demand we give our all I will fight for you Would you fight for me? It's worth fighting for

I had it, I had it all Strength, love, warmth, I had it all, wealth, diamonds, minerals beyond believe I had the most powerful curves from side to side; I had it all I had a pride that was black and powerful; and I danced in it I had the freshest flows, filled with purity and calmness I took pride in it I loved my waters, I loved the flows gentle and sweet like a baby’s kiss; I had it all I had it all; then they raped me They took advantage of me Their goal was to destroy me; like vultures they scrambled inside me tearing me apart They dragged me on paths filled with pieces of glass My spirit bruised my skin tattered They attacked my soul and fed on my blood They made me hate myself, as they took the best of me And they were done; they looked at me and spat to my face, laughing They left me for dead destroyed like Haiti after the earth quake And no one helped me I cried for so long but no one heard my cry I had faded into Jurassic park but now I am back I realized t

I am my mama’s child Reminiscing the days I wore mama’s pams The days I went through her wardrobe Ponds on Lipstick check Wanja check… everywhere right to the one dot on the cheek The little girl who went with her mother to the market The one who sat on the sewing machine The one who peddled and broke all the needles of sewing machine Ask them they will tell you They know me well They know I was my mother’s child They know I talked like her They know I laughed like her They knew I would be a tailor like my lovely mama They called me the little tailor I have grown so much I have drifted so much Life has thrown me to the other side of the world But I am still mama’s little girl I am still the little tailor The one who peddled the machine I still peddle… I still make… I stitch word and word and try to make it in this garment of called life They knew me best I am my papa’s child They know me well They were convinced that I would step

I pray for mothers and fathers I pray for their prayers and dreams in their children I pray for the spirit of the child I pray for hope © Namatsi Lukoye

Swimming in the sand pit of the hour glass of life The stream of sand is getting narrow Today I want to be a sparrow I want to fly without being noticed to skies of tomorrow For some reason today I have so much sorrow Yet I can’t point what kind of chisel is chipping into my heart of steal I don’t want to be woman today I don’t want to love with all my heart I cry like a child when broken I don’t want to be friend; let me be; my heart is weary I don’t want to be woman today My own body betrays me Once every month it creates its own stormy skies and I cry for no reason I don’t want to be anyone’s pillar; let me be; my soul is dry I don’t want to be woman today I hate this point right here! I love you yes, But I don’t want to hold your hand I don’t want to be anyone’s lover; let me be; my spirit wants to sleep I don’t want to be woman today I want to be free of razors! I want to love all the hairs on my body; on my legs and the two on my chin I don’t want to be

As per my previously confessed inspiration... I am Uneven I am drowning in the air of self defeatism Lost in the forest of a cocktailed criticism I have been forged into cynicism Because I feel that we have touched the heart of ugly capitalism My feet are tired, blistered from dragging on pretense communism My spirits swims in the waters of doubt And; tears of my heart gracefully meander down Life will always have its amazing race This feeling got me floating on wings of broken dreams My soul is haunted by future ghosts screams My pride is fed on untested lies-cream My ears ache from stories of troubles worse My heart curses the dreams laid in high pitched hearses As; tears of my heart gracefully meander down I tuck my face in my underneath lace Life will always have its amazing maze © Namatsi Lukoye

Twisted... locked in... blinded Into the mind of a slave I know it’s over But I wish it wasn’t I know that I need to move on But I insist I know, I see, I feel the hurt right to my soul But I pardon I believe he will change It is complicated I know you did that But I cover up mistakes I ignore the pain I hate the truth Funny thing is… it only hurts when my heart beats I feel dead, but, the pain makes me feel alive It is complicated © Namatsi Lukoye

I pledge my loyalty to the President and Nation of Kenya My readiness and duty to defend the flag of our Republic My life, strength and service in the task of nation building In the living spirit embodied in our National motto 'Harambee' and perpetuated in the Nyayo philosophy of Peace, Love and Unity. Thinking Moi’s dictatorship! As children we had to make the pledge! In our rags! With no shoes on! Bribed with milk (maziwa ya nyayo for staying so loyal) We recited the words out loud Religiously we recited at the school assembly Attention we stood when recited or else we would face the wrath of the cane! © Namatsi Lukoye

Out here alone in the shifting specks of dark Still as an undertaker, icy winds against my cheeks Drawing heavily from a cigarette That palliative for my troubled brain As the rolling mist now at it’s thickest Gathers as shadows at a deathbed Steeling myself as if for some memorable heroic act Twinning my fingers amidst moments of irresolution Hoping for a redeeming miracle while transfixed with indecision The momentum supposed to inspire suddenly evaporated! And like one who’s had a disheartening premonition Of a spirit-crushing defeat looming, I anticipate the worst Waiting for some inevitable collapse… I’ve wrestled with troubled dreams Yet my illusions remain intact And despite being close to tipping point often I’m still a fool of my own sentiment Seduced by vanity and as if thrilled by the regret That follows failure; I risk my desperately delicate self No severe change of heart from prior miserable experience A rising panic of frustration grips me

I was looking at Nicholas Shiraku's drawing.............. and got inspired to write Mwisho. A story of a girl, who loved a man so much, she even got pregnant thinking that it would be a reason for him to stay with her but... he didn't! Mapenzi nimeshiba Nimeona hayana tiba Nimejitia kwa shida Nikikubebea mimba Sasa nalia msiba Uchungu unanilemea na moyo umenivunja Ukaniumiza uliposema nimekuwekea mtego Ukavibeba vyote vyako na kujionyesha mlango Ukajiona mwiko, kunilisha maringo Nimebaki na kilio nikilia mwisho! Kweli pendo lina mwisho… Mwisho! © Namatsi Lukoye

When my photography meets my poetry!!!! Poetry meets photography To dare you to look at the children of the land Let us teach our children, what it really means to love Innocent faces of the land Small people whose hands hold our future Small people who will one day make it right Poetry meets photography Eyes meet smiles of little adorable faces Save our children! Stop the evils against children! They are our future © Namatsi Lukoye

I whispered a prayer for you Prayed that my prayer would stick in your heart Prayed that this simple prayer would let you know That forever and always you’ll have someone standing in the gap for you I asked God to make you bold enough to trust yourself Your dreams your wings and to make you fly Prayed that you’d believe in the power of this prayer Prayed that you’d be happy Prayed that you’d remain true to your destiny and mostly true to yourself Prayed that you’d be sure of your steps Steps slow enough to taste the sweetness of each day And fast enough to get you places Prayed that you’d remain silly To laugh, giggle, joke, play and risk things: it’s all part of life Above all I prayed that you’d remain yourself Simply because no matter how hard I’d search I’d never find another you Am not quite religious neither do I say prayers often But just in case God exists, He will know that I said this prayer for you © Namatsi Lukoye

The kind people I met on the streets Who let me take their pictures Their humility, humbled me! the food.... © Namatsi Lukoye

The Evil Eye and witchcraft are different beasties. There is scare-mongering and misinformation to the effect that witches who practices witchcraft with the evil eye can curse people and cause anything to drop dead for no apparent reason at all. Do you believe or not? Flying feathers, visions of the dead, ghosts, genies, fear and foment over witchcraft and the evil eye may not be lingering superstitions from the days before to a particular people. A lot of this has to do with the environment a child has been brought up with. Faith and religion are important aspects that affect ones belief in such things or not. With that introduction, do I believe? I wear nine scars on my body, four on the sides of my face, and five on my stomach; I learnt that when I was one year old; the one with the ‘evil eye’ cursed me. I heard that I was dying slowly and that the doctors couldn’t figure out what the problem was. So my parents and grandma visited the one with ‘cure’ and after a series of fac

Every time I tell friends about the bits and pieces of my life; they get fascinated and tell me that I live an interesting life. I have never considered it interesting myself; to me it is complicated, challenging and hard! Or maybe it is the hardships that make it interesting and beautiful. But life isn’t supposed to be easy- if it is then the meaning of it ceases. I have heard about the story of my birth all so many times and from many people excluding my parents! I don’t know why I have never asked them; maybe it is the Africa nature of not questioning your elders etc. I should ask however. I will ask just to make this story more truthful. But not today, today I write what I have heard. My birth certificate confirms that I was born on the 4th of June 1984, born of one Andayi and Lukoye. As the story goes my dad was in campus and my mum had just finished secondary school……….. bla bla bla… this is not their story so I will jump to where there is me. I heard that when I was bor

There is something powerful about the elements of the earth Something strong about the poles of the north and the south East and west, a pull that rotates the earth There is such a power in words, such a movement, such strength There is something sacred about each encounter with other human beings There is always something to learn from others There is power in dreams… they give you direction There is strength in me because of you, Hisia ! It is you who made me me, because you stood at my stage and moved the elements of the earth I learnt from the start that haba na haba hujaza kibaba Na kama maji twasonga Kama moto twachoma This is for my audience There is no way better of saying thank you, believe you me I have searched Amazing, you have stood by me (Hisia) you have let me grow as you I have become a part of you as you have me There is so much of you in me… and I hope that one day you will say I deserved the time I remain your child for I know that without you, I a

The only thing that I know I cannot achieve in life is one That is trying to love you like you love me, mama Trying to know and feel you like you do me, mama Trying to put you first like you put me, mama But I try I know that life began with waking up to loving your face, mama I know that your name; mama Is close to God's in my lips and heart And off all rights, mama I know that the greatest is to be like you, a mother It scares me, but I can't wait for my turn Am always looking for perfect words to say thank you, mama But whatever I come up with will never be enough How do I start, mama... how do I stop, mama How do I ever start... how do I ever stop Mama © Namatsi Lukoye

The cool winds of May are here They are still ever calm I have to go on, they whisper The fresh breeze of May is here The weather is tricky; it rains, it shines I have to go on, it whispers The flowers blossom, the vegetation is green The driest of months are dead... the rains were born After the fall, there will always be the rise I have to go on, they all whisper After all, May is here © Namatsi Lukoye

I really wanted to write you a poem To write a poem about you About what you do and how you make me feel Your eyes when they are staring at me Your smile when it is all mine Your arms when they hold me tight Your lips when they touch my skin Your fingertips when they torture me Your words and the way you calm me Your ways of turning me weak and wild How do you do that? I really tried to write all this in a poem Found it so hard to put it in words Because................ You are the poem! You are my poem! You got me wishing for a little me who looks like you too! That would put music into the poem! How do you do that? © Namatsi Lukoye

No retreat!!! No surrender The Ocampo 1300 have to be remembered Or these drumbeats will never stop Ilete Baraka kwetu Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi Natukae na udugu Amani na Uhuru Raha tupate na utawi I feel war close by Something ugly is close by I can hear the chants from a distance A cry for human blood from the horizon I see…. Turmoil ahead…. A great hurricane coming our way To blow up the dust we swept under the rag! I can smell the disgusting stench of revenge like ammonia filling the air Closer, closer, closer it is approaching Bring us bring us justice!!! We cry See the 363rd night of the year 2007 I was the demon in humanity I saw blood painting the streets red and raw in pure and cold insanity On the 364rd night of the year 2007 I slept with my mother because I was scared I held her tight shaking like a leaf We lay silent waiting for the sound of death On the 365th night of the year 2007 While the world celebrated the birth of a new year We cried No

I totally don't know what was the inspiration of this poem! Its a strange piece and no I don't want to die soon! I am not afraid of death But am afraid of living long and losing the meaning of living Am not afraid of death But am afraid of laying on a death bed wanting and waiting to die The process scares me! I am not afraid of death But am afraid of passing on; with feelings unsaid; then wish for one more day to say them… Which will only leave me wishing for one more days I am not afraid of death I am afraid of a mere feeling of existence, living without a purpose I am afraid of getting lost in the air like I never existed! Am afraid of dying poor but dying and in pain… Am not afraid of death at all © Namatsi Lukoye

To my dear sister Emma, And my best friends Maggy, Annie, Gorret, Cynthia, Linda, Penny and Anne As we celebrate our friendship............. Here is one piece just for you......................... I will not say that you are always there I understand that you have commitments too I understand distance and I understand costs I will not say that you always understands me I am a complicated artistic woman sometimes I don't even understand me I know that I could be bitchy and a drama queen and the best thing is to just be silent I will not say that you always cry when I cry The story may not be that catchy Tears may fail you or you are just hardcore like that I will not say that I always take your advise Well sometimes I think you are crazy or the advise is just unwise And sometimes your advise lands me into trouble But this is how I know that we are friends You really stand in the GAP for me And you pray for my strength You check up on me and even when y

I don't know exactly what feelings I have for this month!!! I am just writing; actually so many things are going on in my life plus in my head and really I think I should take a break, I call myself a walking zombie! I have been dreaming of jump out from this noisy life, laying naked and alone in my house, having some ice cream and maybe watching an animation warm movie. But that is not Nairobi life! Is it? We are so busy searching, for answers, for money, for love, for death, for lies and for the truth. We dived into the pits of man eat man society and live like animals: Survival for the fittest in my Nairobi! Namatsi where do you come from? I come from Nairobi, Where I Still I see the sky light of the city I see the loud scream of hardworking Kenyans in somewhat unity I see the silenced voices of crime I see a flame burning, sweat dripping, people toiling trying to make it in little time I feel the flapping wings of eagles aiming high I see feet stepping on others to

They call me a pessimist, I don't argue I know I am a cynic I used to believe in things, Now, well I have no reason to I am not a critic either, there is not point pointing out issues the world agrees to cover But I am a poet and a poet on a mission to speak out what I see © Namatsi Lukoye

It is amazing how things work out!!!! I don't have a lot... but everything i have now I once hoped for I am not really friendly... but every encounter I make with another human, I make sacred I am not religious... but I agree that without God, so many things just don't make sense So all in all I am thankful © Namatsi Lukoye

I wrote this poem a while ago! It is about humaninty today; so hard to trust people. The poem has a mix of both swahili and English, as they came to me. I can say that it is a personal poem because I went through some of the things in the poem! I used to believe that I could trust someone with my life Till, I was laid on the operation table and the surgeon Merely played around with the blades, the forceps and my life Strapped me on the hardest bed and took me through the most pain I have ever felt in my life Woke up in dire pain, feeling all alone and still with the same growth I went to remove Wakumuamini ni nani? How can I trust anyone with my life Twatafuta nini? Twatoshelezwa na nini? I used to believe in love surpassing death into eternity Now I know that true love doesn’t last long I used to think that we could love our neighbours almost as much as love ourselves Until the new world order came in! I used to believe in education Till I sat at home, jobless for years

I recently started interning for ART2be and happy to work with GALCK. I am having a time of my life surrounded by visual art at KUONA Trust; at the same time, I am editing some of the life stories of the gay community and I have to say they are quite moving. I read this touching story of a girl who had to go through so much when her family found out that she was gay; so I decided to be her for a moment and let my emotions out. She however noted that it was worse for guys... so expect another piece coming......... Repent from your evil ways The pastor shouted on the brightest Sunday Turn away from your gayness It makes you somehow, less You were conceived by a man and a woman No reason for that fake, soul tan Repent! Repent! It’s stupid how I live, like someone am not and they love me for it Gay, they hate me for it, mad at me really pissed off Previously really got me shedding tears, not I just say, go ahead hate have a nice time Living in a pile of hate! Rolling like foo

Raisi wangu mpendwa Milihoi kashuka duniani Wakaangamiza watakatifu wa kweli Sasa kila mtu amegeuka shetani ni nguo ya malaika Maajabu ya firauni sio? Vipi tukakosa kama tunavyo vyote Vipi tukafa njaa kaskazini ilhali kusini kwa ng’aa kibichi Vipi tukawa maskini katika nchi tajiri Vipi tukakosa maji katika mafuriko Vipi wengine wakosa madawa ilhali wengine wachagua magari Vipi kutasoma hadi kileo na kushindwa kuvuna jasho letu Vipi Rais? Langu ni kuwaza kama kweli wa tazama taarifa ya habari Wachanana siasa tazama maisha ya panzi kama mimi Itakuwa vipi ulale vyema sisi tukiishi kama majitu Rais vipi maisha kawa magumu na shilingi kawa ngumu kupata Wengine wakisinzia juu ya shilingi elfu tano kwa siku huko parliament Vipi biashara yangu ndogo kashambuliwa kila siku Ilhali wezi wa mali ya serikali wazama katika utajiri wa nchi nzima Vipi kamiti kajaa na wezi wa vitu vidogo ilhali Na wanao amri mauaji ya mamia ya watu katembea vifua mbele Vipi ukawacha vijana wakae

Tell you what I am gonna do Like an eagle soaring high I am gonna spread my wings and fly Let the doubts inspire me Let my dreams elevate me My work give me be the sign of a victory ahead Grab it and rule the sky Let every beat of the heart… turn to the tune and rhythm to achieve this greatness No turning back! Never to see my prints again Carry my history with me, have a story to tell At the end of the day, at the bonfire A story of once upon a time I was… But now, I unify my spirit, soul, heart, mind and body See all of me achieve whatever I was created to achieve Yes, be a realist, it is still a cursed world Full of sham and drudgery… desiderata Tricks, competitions and disappointments But I will not let them break me down I was created to achieve this © Namatsi Lukoye

It is valentines today I am wearing red today Not that I believe that it is the colour of love If you ask me, I would say that indigo is the colour of love Indigo...... a mixture of all colours because you know When you love someone... you have to tolerate the whole package! I am wearing red today Because I want to stand out... let everyone yell at me Happy Valentines!!!....... I am wearing red today... because really I am a red head I don't care what people say or think I am wearing red today My hair is up in a pony tail For my face to be seen! I am wearing red today For the boldness and sexiness it represents I am looking so hot today Am burning them while they stare! making their day I know I am wearing red today because I look so fucking sexy!!! © Namatsi Lukoye

This poem was inspired by an argument I had with my best-friend, Marygorret Mutheu on Tuesday 1st February. Later the same week, on Friday 4th of February, I had a discussion with some friends over dinner on the same topic. One day I will find that love I can readily get lost in Love so true and worth defending Which gives me a reason to face the day One day I will be strong to let it consume me! One day I will find that love Worth living for, worth dying for, worth fighting for Worth every breath, worth every strength One day I will be strong enough to let it rock my world One day I will find that love That is as gentle as a dove But that will still raise me above That aims to make me see and yearn to achieve greatness One day I will be strong enough to let it be One day I will find that love Worth spending my time and wealth Worth securing my hopes and dreams in One day I will be strong

Is there a way I can love you right? Then show me... Show me so that I may stick to its path! Is there a lesson to loving you so deep? Then teach me... Teach me the theory and practical as well, so that I may pass all its tests! Is there a key to your heart really? Then show me the map, I promise you like a pirate... I will cross the most dangerous waters to rescue it! Is there a beat to capture your heart? Then point me in its direction... I promise I will dance with every energy inside of me! Is there a song, that defines your love Let me know... Let me know so that I may sing it all the days of my life! See all I want to do, is love you right and love you deep All I want to do is love you with every energy inside of me, All the days of my life © Namatsi Lukoye

Hasn't the month of January passed on so fast!!! Honestly the year started well with me... There was a time I wondered if there was really a tunnel that led to some light; 'light at the end of the tunnel!' I am not religious but I believe in God! I have been lifted to see the stars... then put down gently to work towards getting there and staying there! It is a love month as they say... Love, we humans have destroyed the meaning of love... Sad, but for the majority of us, it exists in poems, music, pictures, in paintings and drawings.... Love is out there I believe... You will know when you find it! © Namatsi Lukoye

I love to think that I am an artist That when I hold pen and paper I can draw something so deep and pure That when I play with the paint on canvas, people get it That when I stand in front of my audience... I am me, Namatsi Lukoye... Granddaughter of one Surusuru Bhulolo That when I touch the keys of my laptop I can write something that can move hearts I love to think that I am an artist A greater being on her way to realize her true potential And what is this potential... and how do I measure it Do I compare me with the what others like me have achieved? Or do I compare me with what I know I can achieve? Because when I look around I know That there will always be those with less and those with more I love to think that I am an artist And Everything I do.... I want to do like an artist I want to touch like a potter... I want to speak like a poet... I want to sing like an angel... Dance feel the music and move in its beat I want to live like an artist Find my

It had become in me To love the dislocation of the truth And find beauty in the unreal Sometimes it is the way of the world, I thought Well, I have lived an interesting life Sometime I was blessed in the morning and cursed before the sun kissed the earth goodnight Yeah I admit that it was worth: I dipped my finger in bee hive long enough to feel and taste the bitter bite Long enough to touch and taste the sensuous sweetest No sugar, sugar coat Then I met someone Who took me so high and made me so wild This someone whose hair was nowhere close to Samson No sugar, no sugar coat But he could make me weak and strong and at the same time made me feel safe This someone whose pockets were not as deep as Bill Gates, No sugar, no sugar coat what we had was more than enough Oh yes, I met someone Whose looks threw him on the opposite side of Imram Abbas , But became the apple of my eye Nothing like Jonah he did not hide in the boat, All he did was keep me wet while the wave

Friday 8th October 2010 I saw a woman today walking around town her eyes as red as my daily beetroot juice I saw a woman today…. Her cheeks still bearing the marks of her dry tears I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry She walked along the pavements of the city In the scotching sun of the day, in only a bra and a small piece of cloth to cover her privates Her face filled with so much pain… Her feet protected by the dust of the plane Her back tired from the weight of the baby I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry Her hand did not hold a cup, she needed no shilling Funny the distances people kept when she passed them This part right here, I hated the people we had turned into All because of the cruelty of the times!!! I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry © Namatsi Lukoye

Every single day I sit next to my baby’s bed And I watch her slowly die The doctor told me she may put on a fight but the disease is way too strong The pain is prolonged and the situation for my little one is just wrong His pain comes through me and all I do is cry Am past the stage of, she needs not to see me cry I think she need to know that I cry for her! This is the only way I can help her! Hoping that she knows if I could I would make each tear Drown it all this mayhem in a storm Take her from everything she sees and feels To a place of our own form The nature is so green The waters are blue Where stars sing songs And the sun is smile at the moon Pain gone and silence golden But I am in hells prison, a terrible disease of helplessness Watching her in pain Nothing is right and this feeling is nothing but cruel My baby turns to me… lifts her hand ignoring the pain from the drip And smiles... That smile… like a star going twinkle, is treasure to me in this bit

Dear sister you are like one of my ankles Without which I am a cripple You will cross the wildest ocean to save me from the sharks You will sit by my side in a hospital bed You will cry when the world casts me out I know that you feel me in a way that word cannot describe You are my forever friend I know that we are so different, But I couldn’t think of a better person to call when I am in need Couldn’t think of a better person to tell me how my boobs look different now and then... or to ask me, 'why are you smiling! are you in love?' Laugh till we cry... or cry till we laugh Couldn’t think of a better person to count my wrinkles Start arguing about who looks older than who... Blood it thicker than water… but this bond we share Is like oil! Reduces friction, makes things glow and work better… and you know Oil is thicker than blood I hope the good Lord allows us to be friends forever © Namatsi Lukoy e