Namatsi - Hisia Ni Zangu

You know, I know, we know So you say, That if I can't love you now You dont want me loving you later When your later is much greater... It only proves that I love the paper! more Paper! So what am I to do when the paper love is so strong Sit around and wait for you to get your own I got to eat now, you know Paper love is too strong it got all of us on the street looking We are all chasing it so what is wrong with my way? I dont steal, I dont kill, I dont step on anyone I just smile.... and smile well Loving you is the definition of love is blind And you know the world today is blind to two things love and paper! Somehow we blindly flow into paper loving You say, If I love you later It only proves that I love the paper But dont we all love this blander You call me a gold-digger call yourself a hustler Haha! Player please! We are in the same game Only a different league and I am the best striker in my team Money chasing! Money loving! Money getting The diff

You ask me why I choose to look how I look Then bring me shame at my own game Making me believe that I was cursed and glad to the thought that you drive me insane Terrifying and shaking my picture out of its frame You are so lame! Don’t you have any shame? Really who else is to blame? When words sharper than swords disconnect my link of hope But yes! The walls have fallen And this is solemn Yeah for the red heads Let us pretend that I really cared what you think or say About what I do, how I do it and what I don’t That really I didn’t give you an itch each time I was present What if I was just like you? Would the sun feel better on my face? Or would the wind feel better on my skins surface? It is really funny how you are keen to lace, underneath Invade my space and stick to my case Isn’t there anything else in the world to chase? What is she wearing? Where is she from? Are those bones sticking out? Skinny bitch she doesn’t eat right! Look at how she walks! You

I just have to say this, you have been the confusion of my life the great turn around, the solidification of my dreams the liquidification of my weaknesses the nullification of my fears the quantification of my hope Yes, you are the reason behind the modification of myself and forever I will live to remember you Dear November with tears in my eyes you have given me wings and let me touch the stars you have cut my legs dropped me down to taste the dust you have made me cry on stage, in a matatu, cyber, street, classroom you have made me laugh till I cried you have painted all kind of colors in my life what do I say you have brought me friends, made me see what we call love and support you have brought me shame, made me turn and grind my teeth yes, you have made me stronger and weaker and forever I will remember Dear November I had to write this down That when Adam wrote that one day my dreams will touch the sky I cried That when Eve told me am lazy I cried too

Tell you what I am gonna do Like an eagle soaring high I am gonna spread my wings and fly Let the doubts inspire me Let my dreams elevate me My work give me be the sign of a victory ahead Grab it and rule the sky And every beat of the heart… turn to the tune and rhythm to achieve this greatness No turning back! Never to see my prints again Carry my history with me, have a story to tell At the end of the day, at the bonfire A story of once upon a time I was… But now, I unify my spirit, soul, heart, mind and body See all of me achieve whatever I was created to achieve Yes, be a realist, it is still a cursed world In this world full of sham and drudgery Tricks, competitions and disappointments But I will not let them break me down © Namatsi Lukoye

Nimeona niwache kucheza na moto Nitaangamia bure kwa joto Kuinama mvunguni nikitamani chako Nikujuchosha bure tako Nimeona ni heri niinuke nigeuke nishike njia kutafuta change Na basi kama siku hazigandi Basi heri ni lie leo badala ya kesho kwani kesho Langu laja Chakuajabisha ni kwamba Wataka kunivuta kwa kamba Wajiona simba waniona mwiba Nguvu zangu wazipima hujui nadunga! Wataka niishi kama mmbwa! Nikufuate huku na kule! Sitaweza! Nimechoka! Ndio maana nasema heri nilie leo badala ya kesho Kwani kesho langu laja Hujatambua dunia ni duara Aliyejuu mac Munga hushuka na aliye chini kapanda Leo kwangu kesho kwako ushaskia hayo Basi wacha niviringwe kwa shida Machozi ya dondoke! Tsekha bhulamu bhwange Sema mchana usiku kwa giza choma Maliza risasi kwa bunduki! Fyatua! Fyatua! Kesho langu laja! Kesho nitang’aa utahitaji madigaga kuniangalia © Namatsi Lukoye

He said hi And I ignored it I hastened my walk He shouted hi again as if it was his right “Didn’t you just hear what I said,” he asked “I said hi,” “hi” I said “unaringa, na wewe hata si msupuu!”(full of pride and you are not even beautiful!) I walked on………… he followed Now scared, I stood and asked! What the hell do you want? He just stood there with an evil grin, “I said hi, naukaniringia!” he said And my heart went crazy… beating as if she wanted to run away I should have paid attention Then my legs failed me at a time I needed them the most It all happened all at once… within a blink of an eye I was on the ground And my ears were all attentive to the slightest of movement Every movement was five times louder like the sound of a gun going blast Me landing on the ground, the zipper opening, the scratches I put on his skin, my screams I even heard my teardrops landing on earth He tore my panties like they were pages of an exercise book Pushed him inside me again…

When I hold the mic Everything feels so right When I hold them the mic I feel like I somehow know Hedwig Gorski And I feel her so deep, I hold the mic And I want to get lost in this deepness, want to get high from her dopeness Then I let this performance art elevate me to heights only the eagles envy She feels my words; takes them all in and turns them into a musical score She gives me a space in which to place my words and everything feels so right She makes them louder, my voice deeper and passes them on to my audience When I hold the mic I see the space between the words, the pauses, the rhymes, the punch lines Most importantly I see the message Eyes around but when I hold the mic, It’s just me and the mic © Namatsi Lukoye

I AM Namatsi: I am 50 – 50 I am kinky, I am witty I am naughty, I am holy I am the sun that burns I am the moon that cools Evil and good, I am Ying and Yang A mark of perfection An explosion of life A theater of words I am the blade of the knife I am the heart of a lion I am the eyes of an eagle I am fire and ‘Matsi’ intertwined So when the two make love I am their great orgasm But when they clash, I am crushed So I am a leach, a bitch, a terrible itch I am the breeze that makes the nipples erect I am the leg that takes the first step An angle with the charm of a devil A star rising to kiss an avatar I am a work in progress, no stress I leave Alice to wonder, God bless Luki: I am the breath that you cannot breathe and still I am the life that you cannot take or steal I am the skill, the potential, I am the art I am the hip hop, the poem and in music I am a part I am the fire that burns; I am the earth that you stand on The water that runs, I am the air

Baby, I hope you arrived well in that beautiful place I hope that your pain is gone and your smile shines the warmth of my day I miss you terribly, excruciatingly painfully It still feels like yesterday Even now that days, weeks, months and years have passed by so fast Flowers have grown and died But it feels like yesterday When you and I played with the potter’s clay When my skies were grey and your kisses wiped my tears away So sad, Its only yesterday when I watched you do your basketball play And when I laughed at you because you got tooth decay! Our sweet teeth I was next, yesterday, When we got naughty and played the squeeze me play Who thought it would end this early, and in this way No more you, no more you, no more you and I Yesterday When you lay bleeding on the roundabout way When the accident washed all our dreams away Only yesterday, when Tony called me from the hospital bay Lying that he was sick, only to go and find him with blood shot eyes waiting

Do me like Nancy did! Amid the noise and haste of the day Hold me so tender so gentle as if I was flimsy As if I was a new born baby Look into my eyes and don’t be afraid to be silly Let go be kinky and witty Do me like Nancy did! Do me like Nancy did Let’s get lost in the sickest thoughts of our lusts Explore! Explore! Explore like Sir John Hawkins Mine some gold in the wells on my secrets And surrender to the truthfulness of our uniqueness Do me like Nancy did! Do me like Nancy did Not scared but ever bold and hard just like Rihanna Dance with me like we did at Harvana As the music fell on our ears like manna Rock! Rock! Rock with me like the waves of the fresh water Lake Victoria Do me like Nancy did! Do me like Nancy did Give me the world in its artistic form As we bask in our morning after custom Let’s create! Let us innovate! Oh let us form art! With pen and paper With clay and water With lens and shutter Let us play with the curves and faults on our

And the sins of the fathers Shall rest upon the heads of the sons! Luki: Times gone bad Leaving my heart grieved my soul crashed and my spirit sad So bad is now the destination of my time Time which I am no longer the station Which is no longer really mine? Namatsi: Yes things gone wrong Emotional pain prolonged Truth is now secret… swept under the rag As the hate and lies nag, really Left, right, center, front, back and center Whatever happened to the true messenger? Luki: Times gone wild, untamed, undomesticated Really out of its mind, as it waits for no man For me it hasn’t been kind Stained with hate and dirtied with lies Times gone dark granting blindness to ma eyes Namatsi: Nyakati za utata Usawa wa ubaya Uhaba wa mioyo safi Majitu tumegeuka Misitu tumegeuza kwetu Yetu nikutoridhika na chochote kile Things going wrong!!! Luki: Yes when well we know Maybe time will tell even fate and destiny submit to time as well If time is money then it has a

Friday 8th October I saw a woman today walking around town her eyes as red as my daily beetroot juice I saw a woman today…. Her cheeks still bearing the marks of her dry tears I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry She walked along the pavements of the city In the scotching sun of the day, in only a bra and a small piece of cloth to cover her privates Her face filled with so much pain… Her feet protected by the dust of the plane Her back tired from the weight of the baby I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry Her hand did not hold a cup, she needed no shilling Funny the distances people kept when she passed them This part right here, I hated the people we had turned into All because of the cruelty of the times!!! I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry

The world is a junkie to foolish drama now Making everyone give a blind eye to this trauma now Me!! Whirling round like a hurricane!! How dare you forget me? No meditation to what is happening to hers Breasts and nipples! Seducing the enemy, perhaps an enemy too close So I ask, how dare you play with me like that? I am somewhere hidden in a lump Like the Greek soldiers in the Trojan horse When the Trojans least expect it, but from their own mistakes So I ask, how dare you accuse me? I am a warrior... like the great Achilles I have the power to make you cry for me Waste for me... rebuke me in The Almighty's name Damn I can make you die for me! So who would dare face me!! Yes I admit I have seen great warriors face me Put on a great fight and face me The Davids, the Paris, The Mau Maus I just wonder how many more are ready Till then I ask Who is brave enough to say my name?

50-50 that suits me right! I am 50% art and 50% fashion A unique and powerful combination of an artistic and fashionistic self presentation 50 Art and 50 Fashion When the two meet and make love I glow in their great orgasm But when the two titans meet and clash Then I face the thrush And like blood spill in an episode of Spartacus I am all over stinking like a dead carcass 50 -50 Am sure that Picasso and McQueen turn laughing in their graves I wake up with Syvia Owori inspiration to Namatsi by Namatsi Then end my days with Chelenge's carving sensation to lusting for poetry 50 - 50 I meet other fashionistas and art carvers like me and their eyes shutter with disbelief starring at a walking doodle, unfinished sculpture in gladiator heels A walking billboard of duracoat paint 50 - 50 none prospering, none overpowering One side believes I am a star The other just paints them out in words One side is straight... imara kama simba The other.... is cheeky.. I call i

I thought of all the dangerous things in life The things that stab the soul hard and painful and make it cry How dangerous it is to stop living when you are still alive How dangerous it is to feel all alone even when surrounded by all those who care I thought of all the pain danger brought And of all the tears danger’s pain stole How dangerous it is to pile up wrongs like the bricks of a pyramid in our hearts Because unlike pyramids the heart being a softie Hardens and sooner than later explodes to fragments so small and hard to glue together I thought of how dangerous it is to cry inwardly Because what scars the spirit are the secret tears that can never be wiped How dangerous it is to say something and wishing you hadn’t and yet again Saying nothing and wishing you had! I thought of how dangerous it was to say “no” when you mean “yes” And yet again saying “yes” when you mean “no” How dangerous it is to sacrifice everything for a diamond that’s not worth And for being

Is it true that we long forgot that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder? That we encouraged the birth of falseness? We make fake, give fake and show fake all for falseness sake! That what we love most is to dislocate the truth Is it true? Then love me Kimani!! Love me deep; love me right just the way I am, so I can answer these questions! Is it true that love is one of the most important things in life? Yet the kind of love that lasts longest is love that is blind? But isn’t it true that when you are too blind to see then you could be living a lie? Is it true? Then teach me Kimani!! Light it deep; light it right so I can answer these questions! Is true that those who go looking for love never find it? When we all know that true love doesn’t last long? Why do we all wish we found it knowing that it will soon go away? Is it true? Then listen to me Kimani!! Listen to the depth of my words so I can answer these questions! Is it true that the most pain comes whe

EXPRESSION TIME DATE: 19th September 2010 TIME: 3.00pm to 6.00pm PLACE: Bowling Green next to City Park INFORMATION: So many are the times that we put our expression on paper and keep them all to ourselves or a few friends around. Welcome to expression time and listen to stories caught between heart and paper! Various Guests... will keep you smiling!!! DJ richie to keep the mood right Nyama choma and alcohol at affordable prices And you to be entertained Jah Bless

Over the years I have lived In all the ways I have acquired knowledge Knowing the difference between reality and fantasy Still, nothing fascinates me like this part of the world That I see when I close my eyes, in my own little bud I stare at beauty beyond belief! What a sight? In all ways I wish you could see what I see Let me describe… hoping that my words will paint the picture I see the world in so many colors Almost like a doodle that I did when I was still in kindergarten In the eyes of the small girl I was that was beautiful Why is everything so true when we are children? There is no better joy to see it all coming back to me Back to those beautiful days The sun so beautiful, not harsh, so gentle The water pure, so free, The earth so green, so enchanting The breeze so fresh Those were the days I would take a deep breath and never want to let it out This is the world I wish you could see with me I see families out playing with each other Dad and mum playin

Such a mixture A big confusion to any reader Like a doodle done by a stupid little kid Colored and painted where need not to be Such a feeling day in and night A mixture of emotions deep to the bone So, Thinking… how do I ignore? Trapped… in between two worlds Am I sleeping or am I awake Or could it be that I am dead?

I do not know which is more painful To love and to lose To love and not be loved back Or not be a man anymore He said Silenced by his tone and the weight of his words I gave him my ear I am one among few who dare tell such a story One of many who face blows day in day out Blows on my head, blows on back, kicks on my legs You will not believe but she even held a knife Right to my balls! Screaming and asking, Who is the man?... Who is the man? She lifted me up and threw me on the ground, outside For all to see this disgusting fight Then, She laughed … celebrating her victory Amongst cheers from the female neighbors Men around embarrassed on my behalf Clicking and disgusted, shaking their heads in disbelief And they asked Huyu ni mwanaume kweli? They asked if I was a man! They say that love is blind… all this while I was blinded I don’t know why I stayed! Don’t ask me why I stayed… I accepted each apology, if she apologized Cover up the bruises, until she t

Scratching more so deeply when the lights are out Other beings when the sun is long gone No we hide, wear masks during the day It is the only way to get ahead with something, with someone We, hiding in the dark only watching the bold ones take their efforts to the lighter zones Yes waiting, knowing that if they come back unharmed Then they are the heroes and heroines We, so much like cockroaches Know that the best things in life happen all at once, They fall down like a bread crumbs under the shadow of the table And since tomorrow may not come… we race for it At that frozen fastest second, our near death experience We forget that we are the almost crashed cockroach We, so much like cockroaches See us break into a doodle dance and circling when they spray some motin doom Oh yes it’s our doom we know The world indeed is a cycle and everything in it goes round in circles It is no place for squares and you will need more than enough if you have 3 corners We like cockr

This letter was written on April 11, 2009 at 9:17pm Dearest friend, I hope that you have arrived well and that you are feeling better now. The last time I saw you, the last time I touched you... those last few minutes I had tears in my eyes, no I actually cried out loud. The universe is really cruel because that day the sun was so bright, I was so close but there was nothing I could do. The last time we were together dearest friend I experienced two totally different feelings. I thought I should let you know. Regret. I still feel that there was something I could have done. He put you to rest in a terrible way, I hate him for that. I am so sorry that I let you down buddy, more so sorry that it took me, us ages to realize that something was wrong. And Sorry again because maybe it seemed that I did not care. Pain. Excruciating pain deep inside my heart. Every minute of every hour that passed on... me staring you helpless: My heart was weeping for you baby until you turned still,

It is times like these that I wish you would whisper Right into my ear so no one else would hear Show me the way; give me some sign in some way Perform a miracle, work in me work on me Just before I lose the will to t-r-y It is times like these he said, when I want you to massage my ego Give me a bath, soak with me, listen and watch my eagles Because someday for you they will touch the sky Perform a miracle, work in me work on me Just before I lose the will to t-r-y It is times like these my love she said, when I want you to just sit with me Say nothing baby, rub my back give me a massage Today we chill just you and me as we listen and talk Tonight I am attentive, inspire me challenge me Perform a miracle, work in me work on me Just before I lose the will to t-r-y It is times like these she prayed, when I wished that someone would hear me Sit with me find out what is wrong and direct me to the right direction Pat my back and tell me that you are proud of me Believ

Una nguvu jamani Uwezo usiofahamika Kunivuta kabisa Kunishtua ajabu Kunifanya wazimu Unanguvu jamani Wanibeba wanibembeleza Na hata waniandalia meza! Wa uta majivuno nani angeweza? Unanguvu jamani Nimeona nizielezee Natamani niwewako milele Niwe mfungwa wa mapenzi wako wee Nizihisi nguvu hizo Nguvu za ajabu Unanguvu jamani

If my silence could express itself to you Then it would whisper some sort of break through Saying... Death to the times of sitting at the window and trying to revive a dead shadow Death to the hopes and dreams of our better tomorrow Death to our kind of love The sound of silence would cry Mapenzi ya kweli kama ya maji mazuri ya ziwa la mesopotamia ni hadithi tu Oungo mkubwa! Nimekubali mwiba kuishi moyoni Nikama nimetumbukizwa katika dibwi la simanzi Dibwi la giza totoro... njia ndefu isiyo na mwisho, Nimechoka! Nimechoka na kutamani Ulichonifunza mwalimu siku zile za jadi; Sikuzile zetu Mbona wewe mwenyewe kasahau? The sound of my silence would ask you Je ni kweli kuwa moyo wako ulitekwa nyara na kuekewa dawa Mbona naona ni kama mimi na wewe tunaishi katika ndoto mbaya Ndoto inayonifanya ni tiririkwe na machozi bila haya Inayonifanya ni hisi uchungu ule ule mbaya kama wa mama kupoteza mwana Nimeona niwache kung’oja Haifai! For the broken curve to be a comfort

How I wish that you would see your reflection in my eyes And the image my brain forms of you Then probably you would understand why I call you my magic light Or why I love you with the power of the sun Your smiles, gentle touch heal whatever burden is on the way Since you truly exist, I believe in something Miracles happen God exists You have magic at your finger tips And that I love you with the power of the sun

I have been sick for a while now She makes me feel like an old shoe Tired is how I feel I can no longer hide it All my actions are now giving me away Revealing this screaming aching feeling The way I look at her Hold her in my arms Stroke her hair Rub her back Give myself away so easily When I see her smile I am a different woman! So how do I change things? With her homophobic nature To her I am nothing else but a friend This girl next door I am afraid I am confused And mostly I don’t know what to do Or what I would say Sometimes words came up my throat so fast So bad they made me sick, I feel like throwing them up But when I think about our friendship I zip it and accept the pain It feels like walking on fragments of broken glass I am afraid of breaking her heart so I let her tear mine This girl next door How do I go on like this? How do I explain the fact that in this whole wide world She is all that I need So how do I convince her that I can be all

A spectacular shooting star just flew right past me I must be lucky I said  Thinking! What is it with nights? As beautiful and peaceful as they appear What is it that makes them all unique? What is it that makes them the comforter of sorrows and the wiper of tears? But then again what is it with darkness that brings loneliness and sadness to others? So I lay my head to sleep Sweating and scared woken up by a nightmare! In a world full of people I felt all alone Haunted and afraid I hid in the blankets! Thinking! What is it with nights? That makes them all unique As scary and evil as they sometimes come Still witness the sweetest lovemaking sessions and sometimes see the wildest celebrations So what is it with nights?  

She just mentioned his name and my mouth formed a smile I heard his voice from the corridor and my heart skipped a beat As his cologne diffused into the air I thought I heard the fugees sing 'killing me softly' I was sure I was falling... falling... footsteps stops.. and halos.. as he greeted everyone in the hall way footsteps again Oh this man I think I am in love So I pretend to be thoroughly busy Concentrate so hard on the screen and keyboard Take a paper and scribble this and that Here and there Telling myself…. Wait…. Breath….. Breath  He gets to my work station Lifts his eyebrow Again am falling falling and falling into an unknown He reach’s for my cheeks and gently leaves a kiss on the right the left and the right again And I foolishly think the right side must be lucky Professionally he says Don’t forget our business lunch today I smile………. I nod Usual time usual place I say I smile and return to my busy look All the while I know that I l

It is only yesterday when you and I played with the potter's clay only yesterday when my skies were grey and your kisses wiped my tears away only yesterday when we thought we'd go together to New York Bay   It is only yesterday when we thought we will go on all the way It is only yesterday when I sat and watched you do your basketball play only yesterday when I laughed at you when you got tooth decay only yesterday when we played together the squeeze me play oh only yesterday It is only yesterday when the you drove through the roundabout way only yesterday when the accident washed all our dreams away only yesterday when I wished that all this was a nightmare play only yesterday when I slowly watched you waste away It is only yesterday when a phone call said you had passed way ohh it is only yesterday when I thought my heart would tear away only yesterday when I wondered who would show me the way only yesterday when I didn't think I would s