Since when was love a sin?

Warning:- Long and still rough

Give me some minutes to get this off my chest
Too much bile traveled up all the way to my mouth
So pardon me when I ask
Have you ever wondered what if we had no differences?
No different skin colour, or language
No different God
What if we were all godlike because,
we know that God is love & in his presence there is no room for hate
What if we cared about each other,
a little bit more to catch a brother, before he fired his gun to kill his father
What if we could do, a little bit more to just watch a body lie on the ground,
more than pity… more of help… more of giving…
What if words could fight with bullets…
What if you voices could stand in gaps… make a difference
Like rest fires that not only burn the body but that torments the spirits and souls
Because I tell you, hell is alive and it lives in the eyes of another man
What if your eyes could see that?
What if your voice could stop it
Talk about southern sudan… about the stories of war
Talk about gaza… why Israelis are still fighting with Palestinians if they come from the same father
Women planning murders
Why men rape babies as the society is stuck to whose bum is largest
Children forgot where their school doors were built, so how will they learn about love and acceptance
We all forgot where it all started… was it just hate, greed, religion or oil?
There is so much pain in this world… but this poem is not about that
Its about love… hopefully you can help me answer this question
Since when was love a sin?

So before you judge, when we both know that you care about nothing but your stand
That you would rather break than bend
Before you force the crowds to carry me in monsoons and hurricanes that will crush me on rocks
Before you stab me from the back since we all know that you are a coward like that
And yes, you can stop the act… cause we both know you aint a friend
Hata kama moyo wa mwanadamu ni msiri, wako umepita mpaka
And you should know me! I am that warrior who carries words to wars where soldiers line up with guns
And worse is that this line has hooligans carrying rocks and machetes and they will be the first to strike
But quite honestly I am not scared
See how I smile…
I am not moved…
See how I stand
I am not scared of the pain…
Asked my mother to bury my heart in her prayers, wake me with an amen, and I will rest in peace
Coz what am about to get off my chest… no anchor can hold

Things like these are never said to people who close their minds
They say love makes the world spin
but lust is the crazy part of this pen that makes it tick
And this crazy energy between the two of us frightens me
Chemistry so strong we got all equations balancing
Crazy physics how I am drawn to you... is there sideways gravity?
And I would fall into you even if it is for minutes
But she lives in a lie... in my world
I float in some wilderness in her eyes
But hope that she can see the truth my soul
She would know that I should break no more
She is beautiful in every way... curve to curve, bone to skin
Makes me weak.... brings me out! And it feels so right!
And I love her dangerously
Seriously
I love her like; I love the dislocation of truth
I love her with all the light and darkness of the earth
I love her like a badger loves honey
like a gold-digger loves money, like money loves the rich
like women love bad weaves, like men love peeing in the streets
like… those dreams… those wet dreams; those I wanna be superstar daydreams
This love scares me
Seriously…
To love like Paris loved Juliet, like Juliet loved Romeo
To be in love with this kind of doomed love
Like Luanda magere love nandi wife to trust you with my deep secrets
Like Samson loved Delilah, like Delilah loved the gold coins
To love like Hellena loved Paris, like Paris loved Hector, like Hector loved Troy
And really I would hold a grenade for her… of course if she was dying too…
But I am scared of everything about her
Like these feelings that consume me...
And how my heart turns into an orchestra when I see her smile
To love a woman like this is for me is wrong... where I come from
It’s a sin that preacher said as he buried me in prayer
I just have one question to get this off my chest
Since when was love a sin

So before you judge the life I live, you should know that
I pray each night to the same God who sent you to kill me, because of this kind of evil love
You should know me… I am the kind who doesn’t give a fuck…
sticks and stones are scared of me
My society wouldn’t like a poem like this… that’s why poetry is my deepest friend
My piece of mind depends on a pen and paper
Most people find this disgusting so my heart has betrayed me
Its dark inside… habours demons I think…
And honestly this so called sin could be my savior you see…
I am not scared of feeling deeply about things
Storms and fires… Life is meant to be felt
I go to church and cry not to be like this
But at the end of the day I am who I am
I just pray that she feels the same way
So I would hush the world, because you see at the end of the day it’s about her and me
I hope that you can feel the spaces between the lines in this poem
May be you can help me answer this question...
Since when is love a sin?

And is it possible that men and women can fall in love twice
Or are these chains of evil men like me…
Because God said love one man and one woman only
I was against polygamy once, when my father married again for the pain it caused my mother
But I am so grown up, to see that winds of love blow hard but if you turn the other cheek
They could disappear
Love should last I thought, but in growing up I have learn that nothing lasts forever
Even the best people die young
I let my pain go, I watched her fight it until she healed… if she ever did
So I forgave him for loving another… had to ask myself why I hated him so much
Until I learnt that he just loved someone else he broke her vows not mine
I loved her for her and for me and now I get it being forgotten is painful, it’s no joke!
Funny how our rules go, a man marry two wives and a woman cannot
I know many people living a lie with spouses they don’t feel
No connection making love staring at the ceiling
I know many people cheating on their better halves lying they are at work when they are in my bed
I know people who have died because they were left in darkness
I know many people living in closets of straight marriages
With secret gay lovers, scared of secrets because it would kill them so they are the first to strike
Love is not a light thing, I don’t know how people play with it
I don’t understand this things… mambo ya moyo ni mengine
Most of the time I think that,
Hakuna kitu kibaya kama kumpenda mwingine
Kama unaona uongo.... basi hujaumia bado
Na usiwe mmoja wa wale soma na kunimwagia huruma
Kwani kila mtu anadoa... kila mtu huugua!
But before you pull the trigger… before you judge
Why are would you be blind to make love a sin that someone should die for

Let me get this off my chest, before you judge me because
You must be your own breed, not human you must have been made out of science
in a lab somewhere by humans whose hearts had hardened and cracked... broken
Your tongue is the sharpest sword, have you seen how it destroys
your hands are weapons don’t you know that hands were made to care, to touch, to rub to feel and fill, uplift
now they hold an invisible gun... you spray bullets each time you stretch to do a hand shake....
Are you ever scared? So before I forget… let me ask you… since when was love a crime
To go to jail for, or die for
You see even Jesus died on the cross for love, but what use would it be if he never rose up for it

So we keep on walking, we keep on falling, we keep on learning and however it burns we keep on loving
We keep on searching because this world has so much to find…
it is a mystery, trust me you know nothing even with your age
So each time… take time, appreciate relationships and draw passion and inspiration from nature
Only then will we overcome this evil that makes us hate each other
Make us that we were created to love
Life should not be written in blood, but it should be painted in magic
Made into a mosaic to be hang on the wall because we were all created beautifully and differently
So next time you look directly in the mirror smile at the beauty you see
We are the kind of art that is defined as profound and powerful
So let the sun fear your light for how bright you shine
And we are all created this way, we are not weaker because of the darkness or lightness our skin colour
And we are not weaker because we cannot walk or talk or because of who to worship or love
So do whatever you need to get there, with your brother in mind
Preach peace, love and unity even when men drop bombs and choke you

I know the world never cares… but that is because you are looking at it from the wrong angle
The world is someone’s heart, someone’s hands, someone’s lips,
Someone’s feet coming to rescue you
Going the distance when the road is tough, the scars will give you stories for tomorrow
Go beyond boundaries and borders of what kind life you have been born in
What chances have come your way and the education squeezed in your brain
The point is that is that we are all here for each other
Run after winds, wipe a tear, help a friend, make love, bring forth life if you can...
Because you see angels envy us… for all the things we can do
Before you let one turn to dust or ash
Let love live even when it burns, let the soul learn



© Namatsi Lukoye