Namatsi - Hisia Ni Zangu

I do not know which is more painful To love and to lose To love and not be loved back Or not be a man anymore He said Silenced by his tone and the weight of his words I gave him my ear I am one among few who dare tell such a story One of many who face blows day in day out Blows on my head, blows on back, kicks on my legs You will not believe but she even held a knife Right to my balls! Screaming and asking, Who is the man?... Who is the man? She lifted me up and threw me on the ground, outside For all to see this disgusting fight Then, She laughed … celebrating her victory Amongst cheers from the female neighbors Men around embarrassed on my behalf Clicking and disgusted, shaking their heads in disbelief And they asked Huyu ni mwanaume kweli? They asked if I was a man! They say that love is blind… all this while I was blinded I don’t know why I stayed! Don’t ask me why I stayed… I accepted each apology, if she apologized Cover up the bruises, until she t

Scratching more so deeply when the lights are out Other beings when the sun is long gone No we hide, wear masks during the day It is the only way to get ahead with something, with someone We, hiding in the dark only watching the bold ones take their efforts to the lighter zones Yes waiting, knowing that if they come back unharmed Then they are the heroes and heroines We, so much like cockroaches Know that the best things in life happen all at once, They fall down like a bread crumbs under the shadow of the table And since tomorrow may not come… we race for it At that frozen fastest second, our near death experience We forget that we are the almost crashed cockroach We, so much like cockroaches See us break into a doodle dance and circling when they spray some motin doom Oh yes it’s our doom we know The world indeed is a cycle and everything in it goes round in circles It is no place for squares and you will need more than enough if you have 3 corners We like cockr

This letter was written on April 11, 2009 at 9:17pm Dearest friend, I hope that you have arrived well and that you are feeling better now. The last time I saw you, the last time I touched you... those last few minutes I had tears in my eyes, no I actually cried out loud. The universe is really cruel because that day the sun was so bright, I was so close but there was nothing I could do. The last time we were together dearest friend I experienced two totally different feelings. I thought I should let you know. Regret. I still feel that there was something I could have done. He put you to rest in a terrible way, I hate him for that. I am so sorry that I let you down buddy, more so sorry that it took me, us ages to realize that something was wrong. And Sorry again because maybe it seemed that I did not care. Pain. Excruciating pain deep inside my heart. Every minute of every hour that passed on... me staring you helpless: My heart was weeping for you baby until you turned still,

It is times like these that I wish you would whisper Right into my ear so no one else would hear Show me the way; give me some sign in some way Perform a miracle, work in me work on me Just before I lose the will to t-r-y It is times like these he said, when I want you to massage my ego Give me a bath, soak with me, listen and watch my eagles Because someday for you they will touch the sky Perform a miracle, work in me work on me Just before I lose the will to t-r-y It is times like these my love she said, when I want you to just sit with me Say nothing baby, rub my back give me a massage Today we chill just you and me as we listen and talk Tonight I am attentive, inspire me challenge me Perform a miracle, work in me work on me Just before I lose the will to t-r-y It is times like these she prayed, when I wished that someone would hear me Sit with me find out what is wrong and direct me to the right direction Pat my back and tell me that you are proud of me Believ

Una nguvu jamani Uwezo usiofahamika Kunivuta kabisa Kunishtua ajabu Kunifanya wazimu Unanguvu jamani Wanibeba wanibembeleza Na hata waniandalia meza! Wa uta majivuno nani angeweza? Unanguvu jamani Nimeona nizielezee Natamani niwewako milele Niwe mfungwa wa mapenzi wako wee Nizihisi nguvu hizo Nguvu za ajabu Unanguvu jamani

If my silence could express itself to you Then it would whisper some sort of break through Saying... Death to the times of sitting at the window and trying to revive a dead shadow Death to the hopes and dreams of our better tomorrow Death to our kind of love The sound of silence would cry Mapenzi ya kweli kama ya maji mazuri ya ziwa la mesopotamia ni hadithi tu Oungo mkubwa! Nimekubali mwiba kuishi moyoni Nikama nimetumbukizwa katika dibwi la simanzi Dibwi la giza totoro... njia ndefu isiyo na mwisho, Nimechoka! Nimechoka na kutamani Ulichonifunza mwalimu siku zile za jadi; Sikuzile zetu Mbona wewe mwenyewe kasahau? The sound of my silence would ask you Je ni kweli kuwa moyo wako ulitekwa nyara na kuekewa dawa Mbona naona ni kama mimi na wewe tunaishi katika ndoto mbaya Ndoto inayonifanya ni tiririkwe na machozi bila haya Inayonifanya ni hisi uchungu ule ule mbaya kama wa mama kupoteza mwana Nimeona niwache kung’oja Haifai! For the broken curve to be a comfort